Okay its official, I don’t like rollercoasters. I don’t like them at theme parks, and I like them even less when it is a rollercoaster of my emotions. There is a very good reason for this. When I feel myself going out of balance emotionally, it is my absolute practice that I must drill down on the belief that is causing the emotion. This is particularly challenging when my emotions are going up and down like a duck at feeding time.
The day started with us in Penha Garcia in a car park by a five-a-side football pitch at which the local teenagers had met to just hangout. We have a fifty-minute drive to Castelo Branco from here, and we are meeting an estate agent to visit potential dream home sites in the area. As you know from yesterday, we have fallen in love with this area, and we are hopeful we are going to find something fantastic.
Arriving at the office there are six potential properties to go and view so we set off to property one. It is about 8,000m2 and has a great view. Kimberley and I have decided that rather than give our feelings away to the agent at the time, we will use a code phrase with each other that means we really like this particular property. The phrase is, “You could grow tomatoes here.” This property has a ruin and terracing and little areas you could make really interesting. In the distance, you can see the mountains. I am already happier than I thought I might be as we have a contender and Kimberley and I agree you could indeed grow tomatoes at this property.
On to property number two which is also interesting in its own right but just does not have the view. We knock this one on the head pretty quickly to go to property number three.
Property number three sends us soaring to the highest heights. We are eagles circling way above humanity, flying, diving and soaring. It is a place that makes our souls soar. We are as one with each other and the land. This is it. You know when you know, and we know. We are due to stop for lunch and start again later. We can’t wait to be on our own and share our excitement at how many tomatoes we could grow here!
Driving back to Castelo Branco, we are like a newly married couple starting out on an exciting life together. We know this is the one and there is no point in looking at any others. Time for a nice lunch and to talk about plans, baby steps, processes, questions we need to ask, everything we need to go through and everything we can think of to do with number three.
We go back to the offices after lunch only to find that this property is listed as rural land and therefore currently deemed ‘unbuildable’. There is a shed on the land, but it does not have the vital ‘habitation license’. How do you build a dream house where you are not allowed to build a house? I don’t know the answer right now, but I do know that we have to try. We have to take baby steps towards it. We have to investigate what is possible. Then we must do the most difficult of the actions. We must not worry and we must go have fun and just let go of the result. If we take steps and it is the right piece of land, then it will happen. If not, then there is something even more perfect that we do not know about yet.
I spend the afternoon drilling down into why I feel so unhappy. I have gone into an awe-inspiring downward spiral of negative thoughts and comments that really need understanding. I fear I am bad company right now and Kimberley and I talk it through. I know a good night’s rest will make me see it clearer. Oh, and the underlying belief that made me feel like this. Sorry, this one is a work in progress.
Night night all.