“Enter this new year with a gratitude for this new chance to create your dreams.”
Avina Celeste
I’ve never been big on New Year’s Eve parties, but there is something attractive about new beginnings. Starting afresh. Turning over a new leaf. Becoming better than before. I believe we all have an inner drive to improve. No one ever resolves that this year should be worse than last; that this year they go backwards not forwards; they get demoted not promoted; they get meaner not kinder; they get poorer not richer; become sicker not healthier; or that this year, they get sadder not happier. It’s inborn in us to become better and to move forwards in our lives.
When I was younger, I used to make new year’s resolutions. There were often so many or they were so onerous that by the middle of January, if not before, some or all of the resolutions had been broken, and then I’d feel that sense of failure.
The problem with new year’s resolutions is it naturally makes us focus on what we perceive as negative or wrong with us. It takes our focus away from all that’s right and good with us, all that we have to be grateful for, and all the progress we have made in the last year. It’s so easy to forget how far we’ve moved forward if we’re only thinking about what needs to change.
If you’re like me, and you like new starts, but don’t like the burden of having to keep up your new year’s resolutions or risk feeling like you’ve failed, how about trying a new approach instead? Here are 4 simple steps to start this new year off positively.
Step #1
Start by making a list of all the things that have made you happy in the past year. It could be something as big as ‘I ran a 10k race’ or ‘I ended a relationship that wasn’t making me happy’ or as small as ‘I reached out to an old friend I’d not seen for ages’ or ‘I started reading books again’. You’ll feel so much better if you focus on the good stuff from the last year.
If your mind goes blank and you’re genuinely struggling to make a list, then instead, when you’re in bed tonight, ask the Universe the question. By that I mean, repeat the question (out loud or in your head), ‘What are some good steps I’ve taken this year?’ and then let it go and go to sleep. Over the next 2-3 days, every time an answer pops into your head, jot it down. You’ll be surprised at the results.
Step #2
Next, make a list of all the things that would make you happy or even happier. For example, you might write some tangible things down like ‘Going to the theatre’, ‘Treating myself to a new outfit’ or ‘Visiting New Zealand’. You can also add less tangible things like ‘Have a sense of peace’, ‘Feel more confident’ or ‘Laugh a lot’.
Step #3
Now write down three small steps you could take that move towards one of the things that make you happy. If you put ‘Visiting New Zealand’, you could start researching where you would go, what you’d like to see and how you would travel there. Don’t worry if there are obstacles in the way (like you don’t think you can afford it…yet!), start with what you can do from where you’re at right now. The Universe loves it when you act like you’re serious about moving forward.
If you said ‘Feel more confident’ then what could you do towards that? How about reading a book on becoming more confident? What about saying a positive phrase to yourself in the mirror each morning such as ‘Every day in every way, I’m becoming more and more confident’ or playing a song that makes you happy and dance or sing along to it. One thing I used to do was when I was in the supermarket, I would stride up and down the aisles as if I was full of confidence saying (in my head of course!) ‘I am a confident, independent woman.’ It sounds silly but you’d be amazed at how it makes you feel. Jot down three actions you can do and will find fairly easy to do.
When you’ve done those actions, add another three. If you’ve put off doing one of the actions you planned, then put it to one side and pick something else. Don’t get too fixated on what to do. Just do something. Any action, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, will make you feel better than no action.
Step #4
Finally, look back at the list of things that you did that made you happy this past year. Remind yourself of it regularly. Give yourself a pat on the back. You did well!
To summarise, forget making new year’s resolutions. Focus on all the good things you’re grateful for from last year. Make this year’s goal to simply do more of what makes you happy and take a few small steps forwards, then a few more…and tell me what happens!
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Martin Luther King
